The first rule of night club is you do not talk about night club. The second rule of night club is you do not talk about night club. The third rule of night club is, if it's your first time at night club, you have to dance.
If instead of the emasculation of males in a lifestyle and status obsessed culture resulting in cathartic amateur pugilism clubs which in turn lead to plots to destroy capitalism, Chuck Palahniuk had instead written a book about people not dancing at gigs to bands who clearly deserve to be danced to, the above may have become a clichéd pop culture reference. Speaking of bands that deserve to be danced to, we have Satellite Underground, Foxgang and Casino Brag.
Satellite Underground line up like your typical indie-rock band, so it took me a couple of songs to realise there was something funkier, and could it be said, disco underpinning their riffy, poppy sound. I couldn't help but feel that they could jettison a guitar and not lose anything from their sound, and even add some electronics to fully embrace their danceable indie-disco vibe. They have an engaging front man with a good voice, some strong songs, and would be well worth getting down to. The sparse crowed sipped their drinks and clapped politely, but not one person was even standing.
Next up, one of my favourite bands in Glasgow, Foxgang. Hell, the guys played at my flat warming, so I didn't need to see them again to know how good they are. I did have to see them again though to see that they're even better now than they were last time I saw them. Already a tight band displaying a vast range of influences from reggae to grunge, a compelling front man in the David Byrne mould, and songs that are funny, insightful, cynical and tinged with social commentary, the whole package just seems to be coming together for them now. Debuting new songs alongside those I know well, standards haven't slipped, and if they were to release an album tomorrow I'd spend hours arguing over what was the best song. They're all so distinct and good. Best of all, they're a great band to dance along to. The crowd didn't agree.
Finally, Casino Brag. I'd definitely seen this band before but if you'd asked me what they sounded like I couldn't have told you. I don't know why that is, maybe they've changed, maybe I've changed, but I absolutely loved them. Clearly this night was programmed for upbeat bands to get down to. I couldn't help but think of eighties new wave bands due to the disco basslines and drum rhythms, the front man's jaunty style, and just all round cool funkiness of this band, but they also know when to take the riffs up a notch to add power and urgency. Really great band, I'll be seeing them again very soon, and probably dancing around like an idiot on my own when I do.
Because, can someone tell me, does nobody dance at gigs now? I challenge you to go listen to these bands on MySpace and tell me what their music is FOR if not getting your groove on? Ok, maybe saying something as uncool as getting your groove on isn't going to convince you, and given the sparseness of the Sleazy's crowd on the night it was unlikely to start spontaneously, but I tell you this, I'm going to start a live band night for the best "dance" bands in Glasgow, and the rules will be as stated, YOU HAVE TO DANCE, if you don't, you have to leave.
If you have any feedback on this idea, and I'm deadly serious, then please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.