Eyeliner, skinny jeans and handbags were on full show - and that was just the fellas - as Las Vegas alt-rockers Panic! At The Disco took their flouncy-pop showcase to Glasgow's Carling Academy.
Black Gold were first up. I must admit, I came here expecting my ears to be offended by an onset of screaming wendies. True, the crowd consisted largely of screaming teenage girls (with the odd sexually confused boy thrown in to satisfy the stereotypes), but the band couldn't have been any closer to Boyzone in both appearance and sound. The band have a polished sound that came off well in the Academy theatre. "Breakdown" was pure emotive pop. How anyone can honestly relate to the lyrics is truly beyond me, but perhaps that explains why I'm not gracing the Academy stage. The eardrum shattering shrill of girls screaming saw the band off the stage.
People have died for music. However, people didn't die for music to allow the existence of these powderpuff connoisseurs of ridiculous noise-rock. Metro Station came out to the familiar cries of woe-ridden teenage girls, and didn't disappoint them. They had plenty of style, right down to their fringes. Style played a major part in their appeal, as no one with ears could possibly commend their overrun set of boo-hoo synth infested electro-pop. Synth pop died a slow, miserable (to anyone who heard it) death in the 90s - one of the few reasons to be thankful for the emergence of grunge - and should not be resurrected. It's well seeing that Trace Cyrus is brother to Disney sweetheart Miley Cyrus; children of the plague that is Billy Ray Cyrus. Contacts get you everywhere, and boy, does it show!
The screams hit fever pitch when Panic! hit the stage. Carrying an Egyptian vibe, just about everybody was on their feet, dancing to the beat of the drum. The band can hardly be faulted for what they deliver - soppy, girl-orientated pop, soaked in fabricated memories - and certainly, there's no way of convincing their fans that it's all tripe.
What struck me was the identical structures to each and every song. Each song offered something different as far as chord progressions went, and special credit to the keyboard player, but the scarce variety in tempo just stank too bad of dreary successes like Snow Patrol.
However, the band sprung a surprise on us all by offering a cover of The Band's "The Weight", demonstrating a bizarre country-tinged rock sound that seemed to confuse their dedicated fans. Tracks from their new album also evoked a mixed reception. Truly, it was the old tracks that really had the teenagers going mental. "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" ended their set, and at that, was perhaps the best offering of the night. Everyone and their mother knew the song, and they made it known.
An encore, featuring charismatic frontman Brendon Urie's credible solo offering, "Time To Dance", before the band returned with one last offering of soppy pop. The band had been on stage for 57 minutes. A decent set was delivered in the end, but a short one at that. Emo bands generally have no appeal outwith their target audience - emotionally fragile teenage girls - and all tonight's bands are no different. They know their market, and exploit it fully.