Ponder the fate of the world. Then review your knowledge of assault rifles. We're not talking revolution here more the ongoing struggle against the mediocrity that afflicts music in Glasgow. Bow now before the combined might of Mummy Short Arms, Louise McVey and Cracks in the Concrete and Colonel Mustard and the Dijon Five.
First being first, let us consider the collective madness of Colonel Mustard and the Dijon Five. They've got hats for a start – dubious hats at that – but they also have the party spirit liberally poured over them and were just crying out for an audience that had likewise imbibed way too much to question why their feet were under military control. With song titles like "Ginger Girl" and "Gay Icon" you won't have to wonder in what direction they were marching.
Second being second and executing a stylistic right turn into the bargain were the inestimably stylish Louise McVey and Cracks in the Concrete. A band that purveys enchantment and entrancement, they cast musical spells on the collected souls with "Muse" being more than enough reason to make a man put pen to paper or perhaps even sell his soul to the Devil (no matter the colour of her hair).
Last being last, Mummy Short Arms dispatched politeness to the far corner of the room and replaced it with a combination of mannered musicality and centre stage craziness. Not forced craziness either but the kind of impassioned to the point of insanity delivery that marks a band out as an originator rather than a follower. Mummy Short Arms might well have been here to push their new single "Cigarette Smuggling" but there was far more than one smoke left in their packet. Engage your mind and light them up.
Three strikes for the venue but three hits for the music. Three bands too good to be from Glasgow. A round of applause and it's all over bar the pakora.