There is a theory that, if you give enough monkeys a typewriter and time, they will eventually write a Shakespeare play. Lord Numb seems to be the equivalent audio test with a Korg…
The album starts of with "I Dream of Bowie" which is little more than a name check of 70s alternative stars over a sub-Kraftwerk drone. Further on, "Man With a ? For a Face" has a tortured cat doing the vocals and is about as enjoyable as being on the wrong end of a dentists drill. "Mr Pipes" harks back to the spoof BBC programme Ghostwatch - think Most Haunted with more sly winks to the camera - and is about as believable as a piece of music as the original "documentary" was as a paranormal investigation. By the time we get to the digitally distorted vocals in the introduction to "Chicken Mangle Disco", I was losing the will to live. This CD is so self-indulgent and dull that surely only Lord Numb and his mum would have managed to get this far. Still, in the search for truth, I need to be brave and so I plod on past "2045" and "I'm an Alligator" but the experience didn't improve.
Quite apart from the music, on the technical side the mix is so thin sounding that I had to check my EQ wasn't set to 'Broken Speakers'. This CD is disorganised, rambling and with so many incomplete ideas, executed so awfully, it sounds like a 5-year-old trying to decide what its favourite colour is in the crayon box.
I wonder if Lord Numb has only heard the likes of Kraftwerk and Apollo 440 while in a coma, and some sadistic therapist has suggested making this CD as a form of rehabilitation.
Numb? I was praying for death…
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