That’s it. Try hard to say something nice about Edinburgh. Hey, let’s turn the lights out and see what happens when we press the play button. Where did those strobe lights come from? Where’s that Thunderbird’s dancing puppet groove coming from? Why, it is none other than Her Royal Highness blessing us with her album “The First”.
Look behind you for this is a half demented trip down some side street off the yellow brick road (due to roadworks, no doubt…). Either that or I’m lost in Bonzo Dog Doo Dah land with only a fekking French mime artist for company. My ears buzz, bizz or bazz to the hammer against the skull charms of “Cherry on Top”. Like the lyrics say “Personally I do not like sailors”. It all makes perfect sense.
Oh, and the ennui. You can’t do latent German electro disco without a bit of ennui. You wouldn’t catch Morrissey flicking his hankie like Her Royal Highness does with “One Night In Berlin”. It’s an undercurrent thing as you get swept out into an eighties dance floor with or without your infernal shoulder pads.
“Blinds” would be catchy in a minimalist kind of way if it weren’t for the underlying suggestion of the kind of violence that follows dysfunctional relationships and the walls keep crumbling below the force of retro progress as the Leander-fied Glitter Band get transformed into a road movie in “The A1”. That would be the A1 at night, of course.
Just as if you needed something more to make your mind crumble, Her Royal Highness goes all de doo doo dah hypnotism with “Pinky Ring”. Why? I don’t know but I want to invade a small country with an army of android monkeys and rid it of all the Duracell bunnies. They might be cute but they are quite clearly fascists.
I know I’ve had enough when I can hear a Dr Feelgood riff amongst the violent fantasies of “All The Money”. Put down the glass and dance the dance of a homicidal maniac. Then I’ll go do good Christian work and Her Royal Highness might give me a knighthood. Stay out of the sunlight kids!
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