Pass by the vegetarians and descend into the depths of Stereo. Load up with some Guinness and see what happens. Reviewing isn't a science, it's a conceptual thing. Just like world peace.
Supporting Punch and the Apostles tonight are the Tuberians. It doesn't take long to figure out that they are actually from Edinburgh. There are a lot of then - 7 in fact - and they sound like they are playing the soundtrack to some movie about life in a Parisian bazaar. All sorts of influences - African, Middle Eastern, European - are mixed into their musical broth but the best was saved to the end with the old style, call and response charms of "Party on the Farm" stealing the show.
To the main event. Punch and the Apostles take to the stage that has been decorated to match the design of the sleeve for their new single "I'm a Hobo". How to describe this band? A 7 piece - there's that number again - on a mission to cause a sonic cataclysm, perhaps. Sure there is wanky jazz in there but the end result is a lethal concoction that is barely contained by the four walls of the venue. Hardly pausing for breath, they play like they are directly connected to the mains with the sheer energy emanating from the stage providing guaranteed refreshment to tired ears. Theatrical, but in a good way, you are easily led to the conclusion that the inmates have truly taken over the asylum. Dance you fool, for you have no other choice.
You know what the worrying thing about tonight was? The less than spectacular attendance. The hall was barely a quarter full. Now, I don't know what you were doing that was more important than being at this gig - maybe drinking Miller Lite and texting your friends about all the sex that you nearly got last night but music, like the fields, needs tended or it will wither and die. Well, actually attended rather than tended but I was on a metaphorical roll. So Glasgow, get off yer lardy arses and go see some live music.