I’ll chance my arm. I’ll catch her unawares. I’ll ask her if she does housework. She’ll not expect that. She looks at me blankly when I mention Mr Sheen but she seems to know what Marigolds are. Yellow Marigolds at that. Every man dreams of a woman who does housework. She shows me her big buttons. She says I can have them (in the distance I hear familiar cackle of Sid James…). There is sweat on my brow.
Time to do the eyes right thing and pay attention to what is happening on the stage. There is something happening onstage, after all, and they are called Who’s Edna. Possessing the unassailable confidence that comes with good breeding, lead singer Kirstie (reckon she used to be the drummer in Storm in a D Cup – I never forget a face) dominated the proceedings and this Edinburgh band’s original songs outshone the covers that they played but I’d buy the t-shirt anyway. As a band they are not at full speed yet but you could see the potential.
If, however, you were seeking something more delicate then Liam Cairns and his band might well be the thing for you and there were indeed subtle pleasures to enjoy. Lightly seasoned with country rock influences, this was a warm and melodic performance with highpoints like Kyle Irwin’s guitar solo on “Birds”. It’s been a while since I actually felt the desire to comment on a guitarist’s skill, by the way, but the plaudit was justified. The most important thing to bear in mind though was the quality of the songs with “Please Don’t Give Me A Reason” staying with me all the way home.
Talking of the way home… Two women on the train. They’ve had a shandy or two. Or seventeen. Here’s how it played out:
“What we have to do is to go back to my house and have a wee glass of cider”
“Need to phone a taxi then” (it’s difficult to slur in print…)
“Aye, but we’re only at f*cking Queen Street”
Sharp right to the bottom of the glass every time.